Sexual harassment is defined as any stimulation a child is deliberately exposed to, or other stimuli such as pictures, movies, and pornographic stories. Harassment is a broader term than rape or exploitation. Our children are always taught how to protect themselves, for example, to avoid hot stoves or to look both ways before crossing the street, but we rarely teach them how to protect themselves from harassment at an early age sometimes we are too late for that.
So it’s important to remind parents and caregivers that they have the wonderful privilege of explaining to their children that God created their bodies. Since private parts are private, there may be many questions or curiosity or embarrassment about them. For their protection, children need to know about their reproductive organs and understand that God created their bodies and made them special. The message that children need to hear is: “God created us all; every part of your body is good, and some parts are special. God created some parts that people can see at any time and other parts that no one except parents can see at a certain age.”
Sexual harassment forms:
- Exposing or touching the genitals.
- Removing the child’s clothes.
- Encouraging the child to touch or flirt with another person’s body.
- Watching the child while he/she is changing clothes.
- Exposing him/her to indecent images, texts, or movies.
- Forcing him/her to do obscene acts or say indecent words.
How do I protect my child from sexual harassment?
Teach your child boundaries:
Let your child know that no one has the right to touch him/her or make him/her feel uncomfortable. – this includes hugs from grandparents or even tickles from mom or dad.
It’s important to let your child know that his/her body belongs to him/her. Also, it is important to remind your child that he/she does not have the right to touch someone else if that person does not want to be touched. Also, teach your child that no one has the right to take pictures of him/her without his/her permission.
Teach your child how to talk about his/her body:
From an early age teach your child the names of his/her body parts. Teaching a child these words gives him/her the ability to come to you and tell you if something is going wrong.
Be available:
Dedicate time to spend with your child, ensuring he/she has all your attention. Let your child know that he can come to you if he/she has any questions or if he/she is being treated in a way that makes him/her feel uncomfortable.
Let your child know that he/she will not get into trouble if he/she is honest with you:
Many offenders use keeping secrets or threats to keep children quiet about being abused. Always remind your child that he/she will not get into trouble when talking to you, regardless of what he/she wants to say. When he/she comes to you, follow this promise and avoid punishing him/her for speaking up.
Teach your child how to get out of scary or uncomfortable situations:
Some children do not feel comfortable saying “no” to others, especially their older peers or adults. And teach them the words that they can use to get out of uncomfortable situations. Tell your child that if someone wants to see or touch his/her private areas, he/she can tell him/her that he/she needs to go out or go to the bathroom.
Ensure your child knows how to refuse anyone going to the bathroom with him/her without a reason.
IF he/she encounters this situation, he/she must refuse and scream. The child must also refuse anyone touching any parts of his/her body, sitting on any stranger’s lap, or being alone with someone who is asking him/her to do things that make him/her feel uncomfortable.
Show interest in your child’s daily life; Consistently ask him/her about what he/she did at school, daycare, or relatives’ houses, and join him/her when playing his/her favorite game so that you can become friends.
Get to know the people in your child’s life, who he/she spends time with, whether they are children or adults. Also, meet his/her teachers and coaches.
Be careful when choosing the people who will help you and deal with your child like the babysitters, the housekeepers, or the teachers.
Don’t ask your child to help you deal with your emotions:
Sometimes we may ask a child some innocent questions like:” I am sad, can I have a hug?” These questions put the child in a position where he/she feels responsible for your feelings. Whenever someone wants to mistreat your child, they may use these types of questions, and your child will respond to them because he/she believes it is acceptable, just as he/she does to you.
Clarify the rules of playing the doctor game to your child, encourage your child to use dolls as patients, and never use his/her body to play the patient role, especially if he/she is playing with others.
If you find your child exploring his/her body with another child, deal with this situation calmly and set clear boundaries for him/her saying: it seems that you are comparing your body to your friend’s body, GET dressed and always remember although it is okay to take off our clothes sometimes, but you have to keep your clothes on while playing.